WHEN DID IT HAPPEN
by Rebel8954
Summary: Jim glanced down at where his left hand held the right hand of his partner and grunted. 'I still feel better than you do right now.' Pre-Slash; M/M


**WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?**

Detective Jim Ellison repressed a groan as he shifted his body in the uncomfortable chair next to the hospital bed. Rolling his head from side to side then back and forth, he felt like he'd gone ten rounds with a sumo wrestler.

Jim glanced down at where his left hand held the right hand of his partner and grunted. _'I still feel better than you do right now. So I'm not complaining.'_

With a sigh, Jim leaned forward, studying his unconscious partner. They'd been on their way home. Blair had insisted they stop at a convenience store for some bottled water. They'd walked in on a robbery in progress. Before even Jim could react, Blair had taken a bullet in the chest.

Jim eyed the nearby monitors. He knew Blair had come through surgery without a problem and would recover. But the monotonous hum of the monitors reassured him. As long as he didn't hear anything other than their normal beeps, his Guide was doing well.

Leaning back in his chair, Jim frowned. _'When did you become so important to me, Chief? When did it happen that you became the most important person to me? I wouldn't have stopped for bottled water for anybody else. We haven't gotten more than a couple of hours' sleep the past three nights. Tonight was the first night we knew we'd be able to get a good night's sleep and what do I do? Stop for bottled water?!'_

Determined to solve his own personal mystery, Jim closed his eyes. _'Okay, even from the first, you were important to me. You knew about this Sentinel stuff. You were the ONLY one who knew about it. But it was a different importance when I thought you were going to Borneo. But that was still about the Sentinel stuff. We were still working on it just about everyday. When did you become so important to me just for me? Lash? I'd have done everything I could to rescue any victim of_ _ **HIS**_ _. But he had you, Chief. He had_ _ **YOU**_ _.'_

Jim eyed the unconscious man. _'Yeah, you were important to me for me even then. I just...covered it with the Sentinel stuff. Hell, I knew that when we ran into Stephen. I couldn't help but compare him to you. God...I would have taken you as a brother over Stephen. And Dad...I really didn't want you to learn about_ _ **THAT**_ _because...because I didn't want you seeing me as someone with a bad childhood?'_

Silently, Jim transferred Blair's hand to his right. Leaning forward, he carefully stroked Blair's pale forehead.

' _OK, Chief. I admit it. I never wanted you to see me in a negative way. But I sure blew that to hell early on, didn't I? But you didn't see it that way, did you? You found a reason...an excuse...for every time I was a jerk and an asshole. Even...even with Alex.'_

Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. _'I'll never forgive myself for throwing you out, Chief. For making it so easy for that bitch to...for breaking your heart like that. Never forgive myself for it.'_

Opening his eyes, Jim caught his breath. _'Breaking your heart? Hell, I broke_ _ **BOTH**_ _our hearts.'_ Staring down at his partner, Jim partially smiled. _'I guess the right question is...when did it happen that I became so important to_ _ **YOU?**_ _' He suddenly chuckled. 'When did I fall in love with a hyperactive neo-hippie witchdoctor punk who's always held my sanity, heart, and soul in his continually waving hands? And I know you love me, Chief. I think I knew it the day you stood in front of the press and called yourself a fraud. But I still don't know why. When did I become more important to you than fame and fortune?'_

Jim suddenly leaned closer when Blair's eyelids flickered. Turning up his hearing, he listened as Blair's heart beat more rapidly. "That's it, Chief. C'mon...open your eyes."

Alerted by the monitors, a nurse stepped inside the room. Observing, Blair's eyes open and the way the man in the bed began looking around, she smiled. "I'll page the doctor."

Jim absently nodded, his fingers rubbing Blair's forehead. "Easy, Chief. You're gonna be okay."

Blair relaxed and tried to smile.

"The doctor'll be here in a minute," Jim quietly explained. Then he took a deep breath. "You can't keep doing this. You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days."

Blair chuckled then coughed.

"Easy...easy..." Jim soothed, patting Blair arm and squeezing his hand. Hearing the doctor approaching, he leaned closer. "We've got a lot to talk about when you're better." He gently kissed Blair's forehead. "I love you, Blair Sandburg. I think I've loved you for a long time."

Blair smiled. "I know," he whispered in return. "I've loved you for a long time, too."


End file.
